Since Windows took such a massive, continent spanning shit on everyone with the release of Vista (which actually has a few redeeming features if you happen to have kids and don’t plan on owning any other hardware or software) and is punishing those consumers who want to use a better working, more accepted and easier to support OS in XP, and the fact that I’m neither a Liberal Arts graduate who works for half-minimum wage and tips at the local coffee shop to support the massive battery of antiseptic salves I have to apply to multiple festering facial piercings nor am I a overly pretentious ass-bag in a new Beetle, gently weeping through a Botoxed smile at the loss of my youthful hairline, I certainly won’t be using a Mac anytime soon and I’m getting pretty sure I’ll be moving on from Windows. Read more

If you assisted a Canadian in committing a crime (like making an Uncle Buck sequel) would you be arrested for ‘eh‘-ding and ‘aboot‘-ing?

This particularly rage inspiring move happens when a driver, usually in an SUV, minivan or 18 foot high block of cement on wheels, who is in the left of two lanes at a stop light, moves up past the delineated ’stop here on red’ line, onto the crosswalk and sometimes even past it and into the street. You, in the right lane and with the ability to turn right on red, now are unable to see oncoming traffic unless you move up even farther, guaranteeing you will get clipped by some bitch in an H3 who was too busy dialing her life-coach to see you.

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I made some guacamole yesterday and brought a tub of it into work. Everyone seemed to like it and several people asked about the recipe. Guacamole is kind of a thrown together food and so I didn’t have a recipe, but I decided to write one up for anyone who wanted it. You can read my rambling explanation or just chop everything into bits and mix it in a bowl. Read more

I started the day with a cup of cold, stale coffee and a few rancid puffs off the dirty butt of a cigarette of indiscriminate origin. The small room I had rented at some point in the last two weeks was so small I could nearly touch one wall while my palm was firmly planted on its opposite, not that I would actually put my hands anywhere near the hole riddled walls or their moldy, puke green wallpaper. I dropped to the floor to search under the bed for another butt, realizing my mistake far too late. While the room’s floors were bare wood covered in black paint and filth, there had been, at one time, carpeting. This ancient carpeting had been worn away from most of the room except for the very edges and a rectangle that had collected the unwanted fluids, rotting foods, pharmaceutical powders and other debris that the previous occupants had drooled, dropped, spilled or spewed while laying semi-comatose on the ratty foam mattress that passed for a bed. Gagging, I lurched backwards, almost hitting my head on the small, broken, shit filled toilet that sat in the corner of the room. The image of an entire colony of large, sentient insects living in small fungus houses, happily parading cigarette butts and apple cores between mounds of used prophylactics and crushed beer cans elbowed its way into my head, saving my last shreds of sanity by edging out the actual traumatic reality of what had been festering underneath me all night for a over week. Shuddering, I decided quite suddenly that it was time to move on and find, if not better digs, at least a fresh package of smokes and a beverage that didn’t taste like the inside of a dead hobo’s mouth. Read more

Peggy Agar, I’d like to talk to you about your recent actions and try and bring you back to reality. You work at a news show and consider yourself a real ‘journalist’, yet were so offended when Barack Obama called you a ’sweetie’ that you turned it into a national news story in an attempt to, what? Discredit him? Read more

If you don’t know about the FOTA, or the Fluffers of the Apocalypse, they are the dire warnings of the coming of the coming of the End Times. They’ve begun to show their greasy heads, donned in backwards, dirty, ill fitting baseball caps and wearing insect-like oversized sunglasses. They’ve been driving down the streets in pink Mary Kay hummers, their Abercrombie sweaters lint free and reeking of Axe body spray. They’ve been running major media corporations and giving massive coverage to other FOTÆ for showing their gonorrhea-puss dripping lady parts after a night of free drinks at trendy douchecothèques while completely ignoring a god-damn war in which actual people are being maimed and dying. Read more

msnbc, font of unbiased knowledge and fair reporting, had the following story:

Hackers try to cause seizures on epilepsy site
Web forum bombarded with links to pages with rapidly flashing images

This story is offensive to me on quite a few levels. Let’s look at some of their ‘facts’ and how they present them:

• Computer hackers are criminals, motivated by greed, who are thieves and extortionists.
• Hackers used an exploit to deface the Epilepsy Foundations web site and insert malicious graphics that could cause seizures and migraines.
• Either enough people have placed cats into bags and thrown them over clotheslines to have created an adage that Paul Ferguson, a security researcher at antivirus software maker Trend Micro Inc., heard and casually used it in conversation or Paul Ferguson is a sick mother fucker.
• A similar hacker attack disabled text reader software for some blind and visually impaired people.

Lets break down some of these items and see exactly what’s underneath this bullshit they call journalism. Read more

Unless you’ve been under a rock, blithely rereading your bible and ignoring mass media, video game trends and reality, you are most likely aware that Grand Theft Auto IV, also known as GTA4 and ‘Satan’s metaphorical foot in the door of your child’s mind’ has been released in a hail of violence and cursing, mostly originating from the mouths of ‘moral’ right wing conservatives and religious nuts.

I saw an article asking why, because you can ‘get with’ a prostitute and then beat her with a bat instead of paying, the GTA4 production crew ‘hates’ women.

I played a little of this festering morass of moral decrepitude last night. My character beat up a few guys who were ganging up on the protagonist’s cousin, a loser who may actually have deserved said beating. There was a brief and gore-free knife fight. And I took a girl on a date bowling and again to a cabaret to watch a rather hilarious magician and singer. There was no disrespectful and abusive sex involved, sadly enough.

I fail to see the problem. Read more